What The Baby Books Failed to Mention

Well, it has been a year! They say the first year of a human's life is the most dangerous. My girls turned a year old on June 2nd. I have watched them blossom into the most energetic, crazy toddlers with the most amazing and entertaining personalities. They have come a long way since they first arrived on the planet 365 days ago and it has been the greatest pleasure in my life to witness the growth and development of my two little humans.

I have learned a lot about myself on my journey through motherhood as well. Reflecting on the past year has made me realize parenting was not really what I expected in so many ways. There have been a million ups and downs. Tears of happiness and utter insanity. Moments I felt like super mom and moments I felt like the worst parent on Earth.

Here are some of the things I learned from my first year being mommy that none of the books I read while prego prepared me for.

BIRTH
First off, the moment I heard my children cry for the first time is and will probably always be the most astounding thing I have ever experienced. I found out I was pregnant, I felt them grow inside of me, I saw the ultrasounds, but nothing compared to hearing the first sounds they ever made. Thinking of those moments at 10:36 and 10:37 in the morning will forever resonate with me as the best moments of my life.

POOP

There is going to be poop. A LOT OF POOP! Like, a lot. Seriously. Babies are little shit machines! It's going to leak out of diapers onto clothes, sheets, swings -basically any place the baby can be. It is going to come in a rainbow of colors and consistencies. Just when you think you get used to the smell (well, sort of) you will open a diaper and unleash something that smells like a mixture of sewage, roadkill, and garbage that has been simmering in a landfill for weeks and all you can really say is "Oh my god!" when you experience the blow out. And your kid will poop in the tub. Pray it's solid. I have pictures of poop on my phone, but I'm sure nobody has time for that. Do other moms take pics of baby poop or am I just a weirdo? 

 

I also wrote several status updates about poop this past year.

As I was inserting these images I thought, "Wow, how do I even have friends?". But a good chunk of them liked or commented on the poop posts, so I guess they don't mind all that much.

I AM SUPER MOM!
Being a mom has given me super powers. I feel like I have strength when there should be none. I used to feed a baby, rock one, and talk on the phone. I can carry two 20 pound babies up to my apartment on the third floor at the same time. I have learned to run on empty. I have redefined the word multi-task. I can maneuver a twin stroller and twin shopping cart. And my instincts are so keen when it comes to my kids I feel like a lioness or a mama wolf or something.

I AM A HORRIBLE MOM!
Being a mom can be kryptonite too. There are so many times I feel immobile, run down, and skip bath time because I just can't. I forget to cut my kids nails or clean out their ears. I know it's horrible, but I haven't been the best at brushing their teeth lately (they only have 4 teeth, but I still feel like a failure). Maybe they sleep in their clothes. I seem to never be able to keep up with housework and laundry. And there are many, many times I have no fucking clue what is going on or what to do.

THE VILLAGE
You know the old saying, "It takes a village to raise a child"? It seriously does. Kevin works a lot, so when he isn't here to back me up my mom is only a phone call away and thankfully lives 5 minutes down the street. She has helped when we're sick, babysits so we can run errands or go to the movies. Kevin's family is back in Florida, but they are still part of this hypothetical village. His mom is seriously like my counselor/therapist at times. She listens to all my problems and gives me great advice. His sister (who is also a mama) is my Skype/texting buddy. We exchange our motherhood woes and triumphs through hilarious stories and photos. My Dad comes to visit from out of state as well and hooks us up with wipes and diapers when he is in town. Of course, all the other family that text or call to check in, sends awesome clothes and toys for the girls, and sends us movie tickets or gift cards so we can treat ourselves are an awesome help too. And then there are our friends, both near and far. They go out for drinks with us, come to our kids' birthday party, swap babysitting, come keep us company, -they help give us a sense of normalcy whether they have kids or not. Without all of these people it would impossible to raise kids. Well, not really, but it would be even harder than it already is.

 


I am sure there are a ton more examples I can cite, but it would go on for far too long. Basically, there is  lot you can prepare for before your kids enter the world, but most things in parenthood you learn by experience. By failure. By trial and error. And by help and guidance from the people in your life who have been there and done it before. Trust your instincts and always remember that you are the parent and at the end of the day you just gotta do what is best for you and your family.