Whose to say what is normal?

Raising a little boy with a genetic disorder is tough. It's a wild ride with tons of ups and a few too many downs. We as a family deal with hospital stays, visits to a specialist and lots of re-thinking our decisions and how they will affect our son, London's disorder. London was born with a life threatening genetic disorder known as MCADD, Medium Chain Acyl-CoA Dehydrogenase Deficiency. To put it simply MCADD is a hereditary disease that is caused by the lack of enzyme required to convert fat into energy like it should. If detected early it can be managed with diet. People with MCADD cannot fast for very long. If they go too long without food their bodies go into metabolic crisis. If left untreated a person with MCADD can develop breathing problems, seizures, coma and even death. Early detection is CRITICAL. Once detected people with treated MCADD will lead healthy, normal lives. You can learn more about MCADD by going to:

http://bartelchronicles.com/about-mcadd/

London's condition has been relatively easy to manage so far. Sure we've dealt with some rough stuff but nothing that didn't make us stronger in the end. What really bothers me though is when people say "well is he normal" or "how normal of a life can he actually have"? WTH?!?! What is "normal" and who decides what is or isn't "normal"? London is an adventurous one year old who loves to climb, watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, eat like a true fat kid and he's got the happiest demeanor I've ever encountered. That sounds pretty "normal" to me. "Isn't he technically special needs?" Yes, yes he is but it doesn't damper how we live our day to day lives. Our little man is growing and developing just like any other one year old. His only difference is that we have to closely monitor his fasting times and diet. I have lots of friends raising children with Autism, mental issues, Celiac disease and many other disorders. Are they "normal"? You bet they are. Those children have the biggest personalities and what they live with is "normal" to them!

This sweet boy may not be living the world's standard of a "normal" life but he sure isn't missing out on anything. He stays up late just like his Mommy and sleeps in just like his Daddy. He eats endless amounts of yogurt and chicken nuggets. He laughs constantly. He is always trying to get into something he shouldn't just like a typical boy. He can't get enough of being outside. He adores animals and loves to watch them. He has traveled by car and by plane. He has been introduced to tons of wonderful things. I would love to challenge every one of you who reads this to think twice before you say what is "normal". My little London will always be our families own version of "normal" and we are extremely proud of that fact. Don't push your own "normal" on someone else. Their version is just fine!

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Doing Day Care

I never thought my children would be in day care before 2. I always envisioned staying at home with them as long as possible before handing them off for other people to nurture and teach. I always said I wanted my kids to be able to talk before going to school so they would be able to tell me if something went wrong. But like countless other things in parenting, what you imagine is not always your reality.

Just over a month ago our family came to a crazy breaking point. Kevin and I were trading off shifts. Most days I was working in the mornings and he was home with the girls. When I got home, he was heading out to work and I was finishing the rest of the day with the girls at home. It was a never ending cycle of exhaustion that was taking a toll on us in every possible way. 

When we were home with the girls we were trying to take care of their needs and catch up on everything around the house - dishes, laundry, dinner. There was rarely time to do much else because once the day was done all that was craved was sleep. There have been many nights I skipped meals and showers because I was just too tired. And I always put myself and my needs on the back burner.

Now I know this probably sounds like many parents and I should quit whining. But my relationship was on the rocks and my girls were not getting the attention I wanted to give them because I felt spread so thin. So in an attempt to help save our family from the spiral downward it was heading on we decided to send the girls to day care.

My mom is a nanny and a family she used to work for sent their twin boys to a private, in-home day care. My mom used to pick the boys up and bring them home and said I should go and check it out based on the great recommendations their parents gave. I made an appointment and met with the owner. The entire back of her home was made into the daycare. It was spilt off into two sides - one for the bigger, preschool aged kids and the other for the babies. It looked like a traditional day care with a huge yard in the back for all of the kids to play. We talked for a while and I fell in love with the idea of my girls being there every day. 

It is a home day care, so the maximum amount of kids she can have there is 12. I love that because I feel like my girls get a lot more individualized attention. She has 2 other ladies that help her with the little ones, as well. They teach all of the kids English and Spanish simultaneously, which I think is amazing because if the girls stay there until they enter kindergarten they will essentially be bilingual. It's a loving, home-like environment for my girls. They get all of their basic needs met and they get to play with other children as well as being stimulated and engaged in different activities. I get text messages with photos of the girls and a detailed report when I pick them up each day. She has all of the state licenses and accreditations. I have full trust in their care.

As much as it hurts to say (because I feel like a crappy parent) I was to a point where I could not do for them what they experience at school. Kevin and I were just burnt out. It wasn't fair for the girls. But since they have been in day care I feel like a better parent. I have more energy to give when they are home. The time we spend is of the best quality. And Kevin and I are able to have one mutual day off together, which is really helping us to keep our sanity and again, be better parents to our girls. I feel like a better parent because I made a mature decision that was right for the family instead of trying to do what I knew I couldn't do anymore.

The only real drawback we face is paying for child care. We are not really in a financial position to do this. We pay our bills, but don't have much extra. But we are making a lot of sacrifices to do this because it has made such a difference in the quality of life we are all living now. I can live without going out to eat or doing the extra things because we are all so much more happy. If there comes a point where we can no longer afford to send them, than that is something we will have to deal with. But as for now we will enjoy what doing day care allows.

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Why I Broke Up With Facebook

It's not me, it's you! Recently I made the decision to end my long term relationship with Facebook. It wasn't an easy decision but I think it's going to be one of the best decisions I've made in a while. I know some of you reading this may be thinking how in the world could someone quit something so important. Well it's just that...it's not that important.



Now before you decide to stop reading right now because you think I'm obviously insane please just continue on. Allow me to explain myself. I am actually a social media marketer. I get paid to use social media sites like Facebook. I'm not just knocking the world's most popular social media site. I think it is a great tool to reach numerous people and make an impact. I also believe it can become an addiction worse than drinking or smoking. My days have become so involved with this site. I wake up and check my FB. I check it sporadically throughout the day. I then spend hours, yes I said HOURS, on it in the evenings. I've always used the excuse that I am "working" or what not to explain my psychotic investment of time on there. One day I clocked more than 8 hours on FB and didn't even blink an eye about that. Truth be told....Facebook became my addiction.

The first moment I realized I needed to break up with my beloved was when I noticed I had been replacing phone calls, face to face conversations and genuine connections. Liking a picture and posting on my friends walls had become my only way to show some love. In our day and age I think it's vital to still maintain relationships on a truly personal level. With Facebook in my life I simply suck at this!

Another big factor is how much negativity is on that dang thing. Every time I would scroll through my newsfeed I was bombarded with horror stories of mothers killing their children or something about Westboro Baptist Church, yuck! I am prone to anxiety and paranoia so anytime I would see these articles I would get all panicked. No matter how much I tried to not let it bother me it would. Then of course I'm sure we've all had those friends on our feeds that are always complaining that life sucks, nobody loves them and that they are going to die alone. Seriously, these friends need to suck it up and look at the brighter side. Life sucks because you keep on dwelling on the negative.

Perhaps the biggest reason to quit for me is how much I would compare my life to others. Little did I know I was filling myself with self doubt and decreasing my confidence level by doing this. I have those particular friends who seem to be living the perfect life. They are gorgeous, successful, have beautiful families and are always doing Pinterest worthy activities. I'd sit in my recliner wearing the same pajamas I'd had on for 3 days thinking how bad I suck at life. I have a hard time getting dressed some days just being a stay at home mom to one kid. Then I see these stay at home moms with 5 kids who look like a total 10. Those women are obviously freaks of nature. Okay not really...see this is why I NEED to divorce Facebook. I actually start to build a jealous hatred towards some of these women who I actually adore and would do anything for. Facebook doesn't realize it but it pins people against each other more often than it should. Every day I would compare myself, my family, my lifestyle and basically every aspect with all these people and by the time I logged off I felt miserable. No bueno for me. My son, London, just turned one in March and I kept finding myself comparing him to my friend's kiddos who are his age. Babies don't need any kind of pressure on them. Pssh it's just weird that we would ever pin one baby against another one in a race to hit developmental milestones first. Bad mommy moment right there.



Facebook stalking is yet another good reason to walk away. I found myself going to the same few people's pages and watching their every move. I was fascinated with what they were going to do next. Does it really matter that Susie Q is going to be hosting a massive bridal party? Is my life going to be affected if Chatty Kathy does or does not go to the pumpkin patch this Fall? Absolutely not! Have you ever been out with some friends and acquaintances and noticed you know more about them than they have actually told you in person? Odds are you saw something on their wall and stored it in your cranium for future reference. Stalking isn't cool for anyone. It's not cool to be the one being stalked. It's not cool to do the stalking. It's extremely unhealthy. This obsessive behavior can take hold of so many facets of your life without you ever noticing. You will begin basing your own decisions on if it's something Susie Q would do. No offense to Susie Q but she is no better than you, me or anyone else. We all have something wonderful to celebrate and when we are too busy looking at someone else's blessings we forget to notice how many we actually have.

The saddest realization is when you aren't sure who really is one of your friends. At one point my friends list had over 1400 people on it. Realistically I knew half. I moved around a lot and used to be very very VERY social. Those were my pre-Facebook days. I honestly have a handful of great friends. Thanks to Facebook I have a bajillion people I barely know anything about who I've claimed were my friends for a while now. I don't know about you but I'd much rather have REAL friends that I legitimately know.

Craving approval is also something twisted that Facebook has put into my life. I used to be one of those women who was blunt, kooky and didn't care what people though of me at all. Now I find myself analyzing every small detail. What would people say on Facebook if I wore this outfit? Who cares? FB is not the place to do this. The only approval needed is from yourself. I know this sounds corny but it's soooooo true. I'm content with acting crazy, speaking sarcastically, not being a size 2 and not having the most impressive career. I couldn't be happier with where my life is. I've been letting Facebook cloud my vision recently in this area. I found myself in that memory making moment and thinking nobody on Facebook would even "LIKE" this. That is disgusting to think like that. My activities may not be ones that would get thousands of likes but I enjoy them immensely.

I'm also an oversharer. I posted every photo I ever took from my phone. You never had to question what meal I was eating. Oh an God forbid I actually go to the gym. In that case be prepared to see a pic of me working out on every piece of equipment. In my defense I don't work out so it was proof that sometimes I get down and dirty. Sharing isn't necessarily bad when done in moderation.

I still utilize Facebook to keep our friends and family updated on our family blog facebook page. I also still do the social media for my job. I just don't have a personal account that I use all day long. For me this was the right decision. For weeks I've been going back and forth on this. Finally it hit me. Facebook is causing me to not be, well, ME. I want to get back to my true self and live in the moment with my sweet little family. I want to feel free again. I want to break out into song whenever I please. I want to let my crazy style out of the closet. I want to drink wine while eating a burger. I want to break into random dance moves whenever I feel like it. I want to be ME again!

Slow Cooker Beef Stew

When I think of comfort food one of the first things that comes to mind is beef stew. My mom used to make it year round and it was always a family favorite. When Kevin and I first moved in together I started using my slow cooker all the time and this became one of his most requested dinners for me to make. The ingredients are super cheap and super easy to prep to go into the slow cooker. It's a great time saving recipe since you just throw everything in and let it stew away while you go about your day. And my favorite part (besides the deliciousness of this meal) is that there are not a ton of dishes to slave away cleaning afterwards. This is a healthy and hearty meal that is definitely a crowd pleaser.


Slow Cooker Beef Stew

Ingredients:
1½-2 lbs. stew meat cut into cubes
1 Tbsp. oil
1 28 oz. can of whole peeled tomatoes
6 celery ribs, chopped
6 carrots, chopped
2 medium onions, quartered
5-6 potatoes, cut into chunks
2 cups frozen peas
Seasonings (I use salt, pepper, garlic powder, cumin, coriander, thyme, but you can tweak to use what your favorites are)
3 cups vegetable or beef broth, divided
½ cup all-purpose flour

What to do:

Season stew meat with salt and pepper. Heat the oil in a large skillet and cook until brown. Set aside.

Pour the can of tomatoes into the slow cooker, juice and all. Use a fork or spoon to smash down the tomatoes. Put in the celery, carrots, potatoes, and onions in the slow cooker. Add all of your seasonings on top. I put what I think is enough and then add a bit more so it doesn't turn out bland. Add the meat.

Add 2½ cups of the beef broth to the slow cooker. Stir everything together until mixed well.

Cover and cook on low for 8 hours.

Just before serving add the frozen peas.

Mix together the remaining beef broth and flour together and add the stew. Heat for an additional 10-15 minutes until thickened.

Serve and enjoy!

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Angel Gowns

What is a woman to do with her wedding gown once she wears it on her special day? Some put it away in a box to be worn by their future daughter if they are lucky. Some have it professionally framed to be seen everyday. Some simply put it into a box and put it into their basement or attic to never be seen or used again. Something so sentimental is tough to part with. I'm a victim of putting mine in the basement. To be honest I had no clue where it was for sure until today.

I was blessed to be able to wear this gorgeous Maggie Sottero gown. Thinking back to that day is so magical, but it's not the dress that I remember. It's the love exuding between my husband and I. The whole day turned out perfectly!

Last night I was doing some Facebook stalking and saw a link my friend shared. It was about NICU Helping Hands. You can donate a used wedding dress to be transformed into an incredibly beautiful gown for families who have lost their child. I now know what I'll be doing with my old wedding gown.

"Often, we would just wrap little babies just in tiny little hospital blankets or washrags or towels, and we didn't really have much to offer those families," said Amy Vickers, a former NICU nurse who saw a need and volunteered to sew. "It doesn't take the hurt away from them. But it just lets them know that we feel like their baby's life means something." - Lisa Grubbs

photo courtesy of KSDK NewsChannel 5


This program accepts gowns from all around the country and then provides any NICU with these angel gowns. You can find out more information here:

http://www.nicuhelpinghands.org/lend-a-helping-hand/angel-gowns/


If you would like to donate your gown, you can ship it to:


NICU Helping Hands
301 Commerce Street, Suite 3200
Fort Worth, TX 76102

Not only is this just a fantastic idea but it really hits home when you know someone who has lost a baby. One of my dear friends had to bury her son instead of hear him cry his first cry. While I hold my own baby tight and smother him with kisses I will never forget how lucky I really am. Not everyone get this privilege.