Anyways, with this resurrection of my blog I have had a lot of feelings bubbling up. Like stupid things. But they are things and I have to get them out because I don't want them to fester and bubble up later on.
I started the blog back up about a month ago when I left my job (maybe that can be it's own post sometime soon). I had a bunch of new people follow the Millennial Mother Facebook page, my Instagram went from 4 to over 90 followers in that short period of time, I had a good friend of mine get some graphics made up and help spruce up my blog template. I was rocking and rollin' y'all!
But then this weirdness started setting in. Like pressure to get a new phone (I still have an IPhone 6 guys! OMG!) because my photos need to be better quality to get into the league of all these perfect looking lifestyle bloggers with their perfect hair and makeup and clothes. And then questioning why I had almost 100 followers and people unfollowed me and I was literally butt hurt about it and had this instant feeling to try to figure out who it was. I started stressing out about if I would have kept up the blog consistently since 2014 would I have 5,000 followers? More? Would I be making money and it be a full-time job for me? Why was all of this coming up? I don't know, but I'm happy I didn't get that far down the rabbit hole.
All in all, I am coming out of these feelings with a sense of wanting to remain authentic and just have fun with this thing! Because that is seriously why Millennial Mother started back in 2014 and I never second guessed myself then and everything flowed so naturally and perfectly. It is not about trying to change who I am to be more appealing to others. I don't dress immaculately. To be honest I barely shop for myself and if I do it is a lot of thrifting because it fits my budget and eclectic style. I have not worn makeup in about two years and have no desire to get back into that whatsoever. I barely brush my hair half the time, let alone style it. I am totally a messy bun/ponytail/side braid girl and it is what is comfortable for me.
I am moving past this point of caring if people follow/unfollow me anymore. I want people to want to follow me, to be true followers who enjoy the content I am creating and want to be in on my story. I would rather have 100 of that type of person following me than have 1000 people following who could give two shits about what I want Millennial Mother to really represent.
I am growing into such a confidence in my 30s and I am sad I let the Internet shake that up for a moment. I am just really happy with who I am and the woman I am continuing to become as I go through my journey. I do not want to succumb to the pressures of posting as a mom blogger or blogger in general. This is me. Take it or leave it. I am in love with myself and what I am doing and that is enough!
