Parents Don't Get Sick Days

Over the past two weeks it's been a sick fest! Last week Dakota had to be picked up from day care and stay home the next day. We made two trips to the doctor's office because of high fevers. They tested for strep and the flu, said she didn't have an ear infection. So, guess the fevers were just due to teething.

This week we got a call that Delilah had a high fever and needed to be picked up. Thankfully I had off the next day from work and was able to stay home with her. We took a long nap together and all she wanted was to snuggle and cuddle, as anyone does when they are under the weather.

 That night before bed I had the most awful headache and over the next 24 hours it continued to grow into the most severe sinus headache I have ever had! Kevin was at work all day Saturday, so I struggled through the day trying to take care of the girls. Of course, every time I left their side they would scream (thanks to this super clingy phase they have both been going through) and my head felt like it was going to explode! I was pretty much a prisoner in their play pen all day.

My mom was at work and said she could come by and help when she got off that evening. The wait was excrutiating! There was a point I started crying in the play pen because the pain was unbearable! Dakota and Delilah started to get upset, so I did my best to keep calm. Finally, my amazing Mama arrived with ginger ale, sinus meds, and soup. She fed the girls dinner and put them to bed while I passed out on the couch. I felt so weak and pitiful. It is hard not feeling like you have the ability to take care of your children the way they need to be taken care of. I am super thankful that my Mom was able to come and help and was proud of myself for reaching out when I knew I couldn't handle it.

Today I felt a bit better, but still extremely crappy. The days of overdosing on medicine and sleeping all day are long gone. Parents do not get sick days. I still have to feed, entertain, change diapers, even though I feel like poop. I had to call out of work tonight, which gives me a large amount of anxiety because I hate losing the money. But it was a mature choice because this mama needs to get herself well. I took it as easy as I could and when Kevin got home from work he had soup in hand and watched Eddie Murphy comedy with me to cheer me up. The girls are in bed now just before 8pm and I am about to follow suit. I am looking forward to feeling better tomorrow. Not looking forward to tackling the apartment that has fallen to the way side from my neglect the past few days. But it is only stuff and stuff can be picked up and put away.

Apartment Gardening

The garden center. It lures me in with the annuals and perennials giving me their 'come-hither' stares as they sway in the warm beautiful breezes, whispering their promises of summer. It's almost enough to make me forget I'm in Wal-Mart.

I'll admit, I'm by no means a horticulturist. I don't know the proper way of doing anything. Most of what I know, I learned from my mother who decided we needed a full blown vegetable garden when we were still living in government housing. She grew corn, watermelon, okra, spinach, tomatoes, cantaloupe, beans, and mint. I still love growing mint to this day because of her. It always reminds me of summers when I was younger. Olfactory nostalgia. I guess that's why I enjoy it so much. It gives me the opportunity to recreate happier moments from my childhood. It makes me feel somehow connected to my mother, like that by doing things she did, I'm absorbing only the good parts of her and recycling the bad stuff into the energy I put into planting. It's cleansing. Spending afternoon naptimes on my patio reaching down into the pots, lifting up the earth, loosening roots, trimming off the dead branches and wilted flowers; something about it just revitalizes me. When I see my poppies bloom, it's like waking up on Christmas morning to me. Like all of my efforts are turned into these beautiful crepe paper blossoms.

I started my gardening again a couple of years ago with some succulents, mainly Jade and Aloe. After just a couple of months, my flame had been rekindled. I would buy plants anywhere. Kroger, Lowes, Wal-Mart; no store was beneath my habit. I couldn't keep enough pots around. Since then, I've regrown new succulents from cut-offs and broadened my Green Palette. I try to be careful when I pick any flowering plants for two reasons. One, I live in Texas where the weather has mood swings like a woman in menopause. Two, I hate when a plant dies. It just feels like a waste of time, energy, money, and I won't go into me crying over it. Yes, I cry over plants.

I added perennials this year. I know someone is going to say, 'but poppies are perennials!' Well, as it turns out, some are. (On a side note, I learned that in fact there are a lot of plants that are bred to be annuals! My guess is just so consumers will have to repurchase every year. I was annoyed when I found that out.) I tried to stick to flowers or shrubs I've grown before; irises, jasmine, strawberries, a few herbs and a couple of small lime trees. I have to say, I am so proud of how they're turning out this year, despite the weathers determination to kill everything. The best payback is getting to cook with herbs I've grown myself. Let me tell you, the smell of fresh cut cilantro and basil are mind blowing! The best part is knowing that they haven't been fed any chemicals. If I have any motivation for continuing my gardening, it's that! Can you imagine the perfection in walking out your back door, picking your fruits, veggies, and herbs and having pretty much your entire meal just from that?

I just (obviously) really love gardening. It brings me peace and a sense of self. I always think its silly when I talk about it to people and they act like it's impossible to do if you live in an apartment. As long as you have a window, you can grow! The only thing I'd recommend to someone looking to start their own 'Apartment Gardening' is figure out what you want from it. Are you just wanting to see if you can not kill a plant? Do you want colors, fragrance, or foliage? Maybe you want to become more self reliant? The options can be overwhelming. A good place to start as crazy as it sounds, is Pinterest! I always find great suggestions with everything from feeding your plants to good times to plant. I seriously advise using it! As if you didn't already Pinterest your day away! Other than that, the only serious advisement I can give to anyone is, know your climate! If you live in sweltering conditions, just know that you will have to work a lot harder to keep tulips alive, versus irises. In contrast, your desert rose will probably not be happy if you live in Maine.

As far as space goes, it's not as difficult as you'd think. We have the long planter boxes for the herbs and were trying to find some hooks so we can hang them on the edge of the railing. Hanging planters are working out for the poppies and some of my succulents. The trees and shrubs do tend to take up some room, but to me they're worth it. The reward of gardening runs deep. (I’m resisting the urge to insert a hilarious plant-pun). I can not recommend it enough. Few things are as relaxing as Judah napping and me on the back porch, sipping a beer, sitting in the sun, listening to music, and repotting my ivy. I know how it sounds, but there are few things that can clear your mind and your mood as fast as that can.

All of that said, good luck keeping tiny fists of fury out of your beautiful green treasures. They love to help!

Mommy Milestones

Well, it's official. My girls are 11 months old. In exactly one month we will be celebrating their first birthday and I am kinda freaking out. Time flies. I feel like I was just pregnant imagining what two little babies would look like when they popped out. I started reflecting on the past year of my life as a parent and it is literally insane. So many ups and down, smiles, laughter, tears. It has been one hell of a journey and I would never trade it for anything in this world!

My daughters have grown so much and in reminiscing about their first year of life I started thinking about all of the ways I have grown as a parent. With each milestone my kids have reached I have reached one as well. Parenting definitely does not come with an instruction manual, so I am very proud of how far I have made it. I have compiled a list of my mommy milestones to share.

PREGNANCY
Any multiple pregnancy is considered high risk automatically. So being pregnant with twins, I had a slightly complicated pregnancy. I was on bed rest at 5 months. My mom had moved out of state and was not by my side, which I really craved while pregnant. My insurance benefits were exhausted around month 8 and my doctor stopped seeing me. I had to go through the county health department for my last few check ups, which meant waiting 5+ hours just to be seen by a doctor. I met the doctor who did my C-section the morning my daughters were born. Through all that craziness, I made it to 36 weeks with twins and my daughters were born healthy. It was rough, but I did it!

SURVIVING COLIC
Around 3-4 weeks old both girls became extremely colicky. For those of you who don't know what colic is, it is described by scientists and doctors using "The Rule of 3's" - an infant who cries for more than 3 hours a day, more than 3 days a week, for over 3 weeks. Basically, your baby cries for no reason and there is nothing you can do to stop it. We had this times two and it was probably the most challenging thing I have faced as a parent thus far. There are tons of things to try to make the baby more comfortable - warm baths, baby massages, gripe water, wraps/swaddles. We tried it all, but sometimes it would only soothe the girls for a short period of time. There were many times Kevin and I walked out of the apartment and sat outside the front door listening to them scream because we were exhausted and there was nothing else we could do. Our pediatrician told us around 3 months the girls would grow out of it. And one magical day just after they turned 3 months old it literally stopped. If you are a parent experiencing a colicky baby, hang in there! There is an end and don't forget it is okay to walk away to collect your sanity for a moment.

Imagine this on loop for 3 months and that is colic!

AIRPLANE WITH BABIES
I think most parents would agree that flying on an airplane with kids is super intimidating. September of last year our family made the decision to relocate to Texas. Kevin drove the moving truck from Florida to our new home and I boarded a plane with my aunt and uncle (who were conveniently heading to Texas on a previously planned trip) and the twins. I was so nervous the girls would be screaming the entire flight and i would have every passengers eyes burning holes through me wondering why I am a horrible parent that cannot handle her children. I tried to plan as much as I could to make it an easy experience, but I have such travel anxiety it was really hard for me to stay calm. However, I am happy to say that my girls were complete angels the entire time. They slept almost the entire flight and did not cry once. I know this is probably a freak occurrence and the next time we ride on a plane it will most likely be horrific. But I feel like this was a milestone I passed with flying colors, at least the first time.

FIRST BABYSITTER
Before we left Florida the only people that watched our girls were Kevin's parents and sister. And once we got here to Texas my mom and sister watched them as well. Of course we trust our family 100% to care for them just as we would. I made a close friend when we moved here named Ashlee (one of the writers here at MM) who has a 2 year old son. We started hanging out a lot and one day it came up that we could swap babysitting to help each other out. As parents we always need more me time, time with our significant other, or time to just get shit done. Ashlee came over one afternoon when Kevin and I had a ton of errands to run. She brought Judah along, we gave her the low down on the girls, and headed out to seize the day. I have to admit I felt a bit nervous and I wanted to text and call every 5 seconds to make sure everything was ok. But I got through it and we had a super productive day. I really learned to let go and it helped me grow so much as a parent to take that step. A few weeks later Ashlee made an appointment to get her first tattoo and Kevin and I returned the favor. Just for the record, babysit swap is amazing! You don't have to worry about paying a sitter you don't know or trust.

DAY CARE
I recently wrote about my experience in sending the girls to day care here . It was a giant step in parenting that Kevin and I made for our family. It has turned out to be an amazing thing. I know everyone has different situations and sending your kids to day care may not be the best thing, but so far it has turned out to be a great decision for us. i love that my girls can be social and are learning English and Spanish simultaneously from their caregivers. They come home happy and we have the energy to spend amazing quality time with them. It took a lot of guts to make the decision, but i am so happy I did because the benefits we are reaping from this are amazing.

Parenting is a wild ride! Don't forget that as your littles are beginning to crawl, walk, loose their first tooth, and reach all of their amazing milestones, stop and think about the milestones you're hitting as a parent. You deserve to give yourself credit for all of the work you do and things you overcome because it is just as important!

Comment below with some of the mommy or daddy milestones you have reached. And don't forget to click the banner below to vote for us!