Doing Day Care

I never thought my children would be in day care before 2. I always envisioned staying at home with them as long as possible before handing them off for other people to nurture and teach. I always said I wanted my kids to be able to talk before going to school so they would be able to tell me if something went wrong. But like countless other things in parenting, what you imagine is not always your reality.

Just over a month ago our family came to a crazy breaking point. Kevin and I were trading off shifts. Most days I was working in the mornings and he was home with the girls. When I got home, he was heading out to work and I was finishing the rest of the day with the girls at home. It was a never ending cycle of exhaustion that was taking a toll on us in every possible way. 

When we were home with the girls we were trying to take care of their needs and catch up on everything around the house - dishes, laundry, dinner. There was rarely time to do much else because once the day was done all that was craved was sleep. There have been many nights I skipped meals and showers because I was just too tired. And I always put myself and my needs on the back burner.

Now I know this probably sounds like many parents and I should quit whining. But my relationship was on the rocks and my girls were not getting the attention I wanted to give them because I felt spread so thin. So in an attempt to help save our family from the spiral downward it was heading on we decided to send the girls to day care.

My mom is a nanny and a family she used to work for sent their twin boys to a private, in-home day care. My mom used to pick the boys up and bring them home and said I should go and check it out based on the great recommendations their parents gave. I made an appointment and met with the owner. The entire back of her home was made into the daycare. It was spilt off into two sides - one for the bigger, preschool aged kids and the other for the babies. It looked like a traditional day care with a huge yard in the back for all of the kids to play. We talked for a while and I fell in love with the idea of my girls being there every day. 

It is a home day care, so the maximum amount of kids she can have there is 12. I love that because I feel like my girls get a lot more individualized attention. She has 2 other ladies that help her with the little ones, as well. They teach all of the kids English and Spanish simultaneously, which I think is amazing because if the girls stay there until they enter kindergarten they will essentially be bilingual. It's a loving, home-like environment for my girls. They get all of their basic needs met and they get to play with other children as well as being stimulated and engaged in different activities. I get text messages with photos of the girls and a detailed report when I pick them up each day. She has all of the state licenses and accreditations. I have full trust in their care.

As much as it hurts to say (because I feel like a crappy parent) I was to a point where I could not do for them what they experience at school. Kevin and I were just burnt out. It wasn't fair for the girls. But since they have been in day care I feel like a better parent. I have more energy to give when they are home. The time we spend is of the best quality. And Kevin and I are able to have one mutual day off together, which is really helping us to keep our sanity and again, be better parents to our girls. I feel like a better parent because I made a mature decision that was right for the family instead of trying to do what I knew I couldn't do anymore.

The only real drawback we face is paying for child care. We are not really in a financial position to do this. We pay our bills, but don't have much extra. But we are making a lot of sacrifices to do this because it has made such a difference in the quality of life we are all living now. I can live without going out to eat or doing the extra things because we are all so much more happy. If there comes a point where we can no longer afford to send them, than that is something we will have to deal with. But as for now we will enjoy what doing day care allows.

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